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The ground shook with the dragons' battle cries as the two colossal beasts rushed towards each other, claws outstretched, and thirsting for blood, as flames frothed at the edges of their mouths, leaving trails of light that swirled about the sky in the turbulent winds of the serpents passing. Below, the combatants continued to battle. A shower of scales and the loud snapping of leathery wings slamming shut announced the collision, and the battle began as each of the two tore furiously at each other, rending scales and skin, and raining acidic blood onto the field below as bright bursts of flame filled the night.
The battle seemed to last forever, as the evenly matched dragons tore at each other, but in all things, there must be but one winner. With one last scream of terror and pain, Thaede watched his opponent fall from the sky, becoming a fireball as his own blood ignited. The ground shook as the great carcass landed, tossing warriors in every direction, and causing loose stone from the keeps wall to fall. A last gout of flame, and the remains were incinerated, leaving behind a huge black patch in the dirt, the only proof that anything had landed there...
The battle seemed to last forever, as the evenly matched dragons tore at each other, but in all things, there must be but one winner. With one last scream of terror and pain, Thaede watched his opponent fall from the sky, becoming a fireball as his own blood ignited. The ground shook as the great carcass landed, tossing warriors in every direction, and causing loose stone from the keeps wall to fall. A last gout of flame, and the remains were incinerated, leaving behind a huge black patch in the dirt, the only proof that anything had landed there...
Battle scene I wrote by request of Thaede (member of RPG board), between him in Dragon form, and a guardian dragon. The second part was more tricky to write, i just didn't feel it I guess.
© 2004 - 2024 Koeryn
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"The ground shook with the dragons' battle cries as the two colossal beasts rushed towards each other, claws outstretched, and thirsting for blood, as flames frothed at the edges of their mouths, leaving trails of light that swirled about the sky in the turbulent winds of the serpents passing." Run-on sentence. Recommend breaking it down into 2 sentences.
"Below, the combatants continued to battle. A shower of scales and the loud snapping of leathery wings slamming shut announced the collision, and the battle began as each of the two tore furiously at each other, rending scales and skin, and raining acidic blood onto the field below as bright bursts of flame filled the night. Another run-on. A paragraph generally doesn't consist of two very long sentences ~ try breaking the thought down individually...
"The battle seemed to last forever, as the evenly matched dragons tore at each other, but [as] in all things, there must (can?) be but one winner. With one last scream of terror and pain, Thaede watched his opponent fall from the sky, becoming a fireball as his own blood ignited. The ground shook as the great carcass landed, tossing warriors in every direction, and causing loose stone from the keeps wall to fall. A last gout of flame, and the remains were incinerated, leaving behind a huge black patch in the dirt, the only proof that anything had landed there..."
Overall....I enjoyed this...
"Below, the combatants continued to battle. A shower of scales and the loud snapping of leathery wings slamming shut announced the collision, and the battle began as each of the two tore furiously at each other, rending scales and skin, and raining acidic blood onto the field below as bright bursts of flame filled the night. Another run-on. A paragraph generally doesn't consist of two very long sentences ~ try breaking the thought down individually...
"The battle seemed to last forever, as the evenly matched dragons tore at each other, but [as] in all things, there must (can?) be but one winner. With one last scream of terror and pain, Thaede watched his opponent fall from the sky, becoming a fireball as his own blood ignited. The ground shook as the great carcass landed, tossing warriors in every direction, and causing loose stone from the keeps wall to fall. A last gout of flame, and the remains were incinerated, leaving behind a huge black patch in the dirt, the only proof that anything had landed there..."
Overall....I enjoyed this...